Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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