I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize