Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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