you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize