I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize