Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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