Fuck appropriateness.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
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Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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