you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize