Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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