Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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