Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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