my mouth tastes like poor choices
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
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dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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