Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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