i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize