idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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