I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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