So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
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when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize