One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We had to coat check the pizza.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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