My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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