My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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