Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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