Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize