New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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