I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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