so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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