After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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