dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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