Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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