if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize