the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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