His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
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i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize