Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize