first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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