Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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