my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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