it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize