Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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