True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My life is pants optional.
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