just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize