I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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