I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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