So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
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No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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