I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
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giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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