whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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