Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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