yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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