Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize