Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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