I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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