ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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